This has been a potential post simmering inside this bald knot ever since I attended our grandsons’ wrestling tournament a few weeks ago. At ages nine and eleven, Theo and Walter are heavily invested in the sport. Consequently, you can accurately predict where Popo and Oma are most weekends!
As I exited the men’s bathroom between matches, an elderly gentleman, I’m assuming another grandfather, approached me with a question, “why are you wearing that thing?” The antagonistic tone he uttered “that thing” was a clue as to how he felt about my decision to wear an N95 surgical mask. (Whether or not you or I choose to wear an N95 mask is not the focus of this post, but merely an example to get my actual topic on the discussion table!)
As we stood there in the hallway, a number of possible responses flashed through my head, ranging from defensive to informative. “Help me understand how it’s any of your business if I choose to wear a mask or not?” or “During an office visit this past week the doctor shared with us a graph showing the drastic increase in respiratory infections in the last few weeks”, or simply ignoring the question completely and walking away.
Instead, I whispered conspiratorially, “Did you see all the money they are collecting at the admission table? I’m thinking about sticking them up!” I expected a laugh or a smart-aleck response but all I got was a very strange look and a quick exit down the hall!
During my next break I approached a man with a security jacket on and asked if anyone had reported a potential robbery of the admission table. This elicited an immediate “no” and a curious look. I then shared my story with him which immediately led to uncontrollable laughter. He, at least, appeared to appreciate my unusual sense of humor!
His next comment was partly the motivation for this post. “But I need to ask, Why? What difference does it really make? There must be a thousand people jammed into these two gyms and I think I only seen one other person wearing a mask!”
I did share with him an eye-opening experience a week earlier when the physician Rita was seeing shared with us a graph on her laptop clearing indicating a shocking spike in flu and COVID cases in the recent few weeks. I also shared with him that we recently moved into an over 55 community and suddenly felt some obligation to do what we can for safety of the other folks in our new community. But again, this post isn’t about whether or not to wear a mask.
What I’m actually wrestling with is the importance of taking a position or an action which you believe is important when very few, if any, others are willing to act upon that same issue or concern.
I have seldom gathered the courage to act on these nudges, but I certainly do get inspired when I see others standing against the prevailing winds to do what they think is right, despite what other people might think or the seeming “pointlessness” of their actions in the face of the enormity of the problem.
I remember a few years ago during our winter migrations to Florida when I was out walking the beach early one morning and came across a couple, each with a garbage bag in one hand and an extender-grabber device that some physically disabled folks use to reach items in the other, meticulously picking up trash along the beach.
After a second encounter I stopped them and thanked them for their efforts (another habit I’m attempting to cultivate! I wonder why simply thanking strangers for an action like that is so difficult for us? But that’s the subject for another post!)
Their response to my appreciativeness was both engaging and challenging. “Thank you, most folks just give us a confused look or simply offer no eye contact at all! If you are interested, we can tell you where we picked up these grabbers which saves your back!” I was impressed by the subtle way they invited me to join in their work without lecturing, pressuring, or putting me on the spot.
I had walked less than twenty yards away when a woman who had obviously observed me talking with the couple offered this brief comment, “They must be naive to think they are going to make a difference!”
Without thinking (unfortunately something else I need to work on!), I immediately blurted out, “I don’t see them as naïve, but rather courageous and role models for the rest of us cowards!” She frowned at me and quickly picked up her pace!
As it turns out, I did followed their example, picking up trash along the beach a few days each week until we returned to our primary home back in Pennsylvania. Maybe it wouldn’t stay that way long and all my efforts would be erased as if I’d never have made them, but I know it made me feel useful and empowered while I was doing it, and even afterwards. And who knows who saw me picking up trash and decided to follow suit?
This reminds me of a well-known story that you may also have heard. I came across it many years ago and it’s permanently etched in my aging gray matter. It goes something like this: a young boy is walking along the beach when he sees hundreds of starfish washed up on the shore. In dismay, and realizing that many of them are still alive, he begins chucking them back out to sea so they won’t die on the beach.
A man comes along and asks him, “Why are you throwing those starfish back out in the sea? You can’t possibly save all of them! What difference can you make when there are so many to be saved?”
After thinking about it for a moment and throwing one more starfish back out into the water, the boy replies, “I just made a difference for that one!”
The version of the story I came across years ago didn’t go on to describe “what happened next” and I choose to believe the young boy went on throwing starfish back into the water until his arm gave out!
As for the questioning man, I imagine that he forever carried that experience with him and gradually gathered the courage and compassion to respond to those nudges from our Sneaky God to do whatever he could, no matter how small and insignificant, to care for this amazing world and all its inhabitants.
In the end, maybe the biggest difference the boy’s actions made wasn’t even in starfish he saved, but the man watching and the millions of people—including myself—who have heard and been inspired by the story! We can never know the true impact of our actions; we can only do what we can and let our Sneaky God take care of the rest!
QUESTONS FOR DEEPENING THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY
- When faced with an overwhelmingly large problem that you can’t possibly solve alone, do you ever feel like not even trying to do anything at all because it won’t make a difference? When that feeling arises, what do you do/tell yourself?
- How comfortable are you going against the crowd to stand up for something you believe in? How do you feel about your answer? Is this something you would like to improve on?
- Have you ever had a nudge that you need to step up and take action despite the fact that no one else is?
- What did you do? If you chose to take action, what was the result? If you chose not to follow through, were you able to identify what stopped you?
- How did your decision make you feel? Did you regret or rejoice in your decision?
- Were you ever motivated to step up and take action because of modeling by another person? If it was someone you knew personally, did you share with that person the effect that their action had on you?
- Has anyone ever told you that you inspired them to take action? If so, how did that feel? If not, what do you think it would have been like?
Banner Photo by Lesli Whitecotton on Unsplash.com
Terry like your thought provoking story and what it became as you challenge us to look at what we do in such situations. I have had experiences like those you describe, but it would take to long for me to type them all, and I do not type very well. Miss your counsel but happy for you both. God bless. Doug Didyoung P.S. still at St Marks now starting my 17th year