Last month’s post on loving intentionally, extravagantly, and unconditionally to heal the growing division in our country led to some direct and honest discussions with several regular blog followers. After these discussions, a related topic that has been on my mind for a long time moved to the top of my list for our January post even though I have been putting off writing about it for as long as possible.
The reason for my resistance is easy to identify. I have been getting a lot of positive and affirming feedback in response to my posts since I began writing several years ago; however, I expect that’s about to change with this post!
The concept that no human being has the full perception of, comprehensive understanding of, or absolute correct answer to any of the major issues we face today or the accurate interpretation of any of the Sacred Texts we have access to will upset many individuals, especially those who believe they have the insight, experience, degrees or professional training to do so!
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This has certainly been an evolving journey for me, as I have wrestled with and attempted to develop—and justify—my own understanding of God and my interpretation of the Sacred Text. My profession and my specific positions over the years put me in contact with many clergy and church folks from a variety of traditions that have been helpful in contributing to my efforts and exposed me to many different viewpoints and perspectives.
However, many of these same church faithful felt they had the absolute correct interpretation of the Sacred Text and consequently a clear and accurate understanding of God. In fact, many have taken offense with the concept that we “interpret” the Sacred Text (in the case of Christians, the Bible) at all! Many have argued that it is “crystal clear”!
Obviously if one person’s crystal-clear interpretation is correct and the text can only be read one way, then anyone who has a different understanding of the same text must be wrong! Since our interpretations of the Sacred Text often is one of the foundations for our understanding of God, the obvious conclusion is that they also possess a clear and flawless understanding of God!
To try to distinguish our limited, imperfect understanding of God from the actual impossible-to-fully-comprehend realty of the Divine, I use the term “God Image”. This term alone has created many interesting and at times rather intense discussions with colleagues!
If someone is in possession of the correct and obviously the only accurate reading of the Bible, this then puts them in the position of needing to point out and often dictate the absolute correct answer or solution to most of the major issues facing us as a country to the rest of us who have not yet been so enlightened!
I am no stranger to the impulse to think I have the “correct” understanding of scripture and God. It has been extremely challenging for me to move slowly and often reluctantly toward a clearer acceptance that my evolving interpretation of the Sacred Text and consequently my understanding of God has deepened my faith journey.
At each stage of my faith journey, I can look back and see the limitations and blind spots that existed at the previous phase. And each time, I am tempted to think now I must have the full and complete right picture. But this has happened so many times that it has begun to sink in to even this thick bald head: there will likely be no end to the discovery process.
And why would we expect it to? I’ve been married to my lovely wife Rita for over 50 years and I’m still discovering new things about her; why would God be less complex, multidimensional, or easier to understand?
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This acceptance of the never-ending evolution of my own scriptural interpretation and God Image has gradually released my expectation that others folks need to agree with me.
Being a therapist all of my professional career, I needed to understand why it was so difficult to surrender the belief that I had the absolute correct understanding and approach? Here are just a few of the possible reasons why this has been a challenging and yet a freeing and “growth-ful” journey for me personally.
First is loyalty to the people who taught us our beliefs in the first place and probably instilled in us the certainty that this position is the correct one. A personal example was my mother’s clear dictate, “I don’t want you to ever date a Catholic.” My mother was the kindest and most loving mother I could have ever wished for; however, somewhere along the line she developed the assurance that Lutherans had the correct understanding of God and certainly not “those Catholics”!
My mother had passed away before I met Rita, but had I honored her conviction that only Lutherans are in possession of The Truth and therefore those misguided Catholics should be avoided, I would have missed out on the great love of my life. However, I’m firmly convinced that had my mother lived to meet Rita I believe that would have been a game changer for her!
Second, believing you have the absolute correct beliefs and answers provides for most of us a false sense of security. I don’t need to revisit my “absolute” truths and can focus on justifying my positions and attacking and criticizing those who hold different beliefs or view major issues differently than I do.
Unfortunately, this positioning negates the potential for me to explore, learn from and respect the beliefs of my neighbors! In the case of the major issues and concerns facing us as family, community and nation, we leave no room for discussion and exploration of common ground and possible solutions that could possibly serve the common good.
One of the most growth-producing experiences I celebrate happened several years ago when a friend from the Jewish tradition shared with me what Hanukkah meant to him personally and the commitments he was making for each of those eight days.
He then shared how the life of Jesus has often served as a practical guide for him. He gave the example of how Jesus responded to the Elders who were about to stone to death the woman accused of adultery in fulfillment of Jewish law. He paraphrased it as, “no problem, fulfill the law but with one stipulation, the one among you without sin should throw the first stone.” We talked about how Jesus actually gifted those Elders as they laid down their stones one by one. They each had the opportunity to move beyond the law to explore unconditional love for others and possibly for themselves?
That conversation moved me to a much greater appreciation for another religion and a deeper commitment to my own faith journey. It has been an ongoing gift I am most grateful for, and it certainly would never have happened if we were both intent on trying to convince the other of the “rightness” of our faith tradition!
A third fear or concern is the possible response we may receive from those close to us and or our faith community if we become open to exploring and gaining understandings of other positions or faith traditions.
Rita and I experienced this ourselves firsthand when we became engaged and began to plan our wedding. Since each of us saw our faith as central to our person, we had decided early on that we weren’t going to allow anything to come between us; we would share and explore each other’s faith, hopefully strengthening our relationship rather than letting it divide us.
Then came the practical decision as to where we would be married and by whom? This was important for Rita at the time and would have been very difficult for her parents if we weren’t married in the Catholic Church. However, she was clear that we would choose the location and the priest together and that the priest had to be sensitive to and respect my faith journey throughout the process.
At the time I was on track to attend the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg which made our decision even more interesting. I did receive some less than supportive comments from from some individuals in my family but several very pointed and disappointing comments from colleagues and friends in my faith community. A close friend said, “of all the people I know you would be the last person who I thought would have “lost that battle”! His choice of that three word phrase, especially “lost” and “battle” spoke volumes to me.
We eventually found a priest whom we both agreed was exceptionally understanding and supportive! The entire process of open discussion and sorting through what was essential and what wasn’t really laid the groundwork for the continuing faith dialogue we have engaged in throughout our marriage, a dialogue that has enriched and transformed my faith journey in indescribable ways.
There could certainly be additional reasons you might cling to your beliefs so strongly that you are unable to tolerate, much less consider, other perspectives. Mustering the courage to first acknowledge these limitations and second to begin dismantling them can be frightening and challenging! However, at the same time, I found there was a direct relationship between how difficult it was for me and the potential it held for both personal and spiritual growth in areas I couldn’t even imagine.
What do you think would happen if you began to consider the fear you feel when encountering a different perspective as a measuring stick for the possible potential it may offer you for personal growth instead of a threat? If instead of trying to convince others they are wrong, we sought what we could learn from them? And if our entire society adopted that mindset, what then?
QUESTIONS FOR DEEPENING THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY
- Can you identify any spoken or subtle messages you received from the significant others in your early years that created absolute positions in regard to your interpretation or understanding of the Sacred Text as well as, your understanding of God (God Image)?
- How about on other issues besides religion? People can hold absolute positions on politics, morals, “proper” relationships, manners, dress, and even the “correct” height grass should be! What issues do you find you have the most difficult time seeing beyond your own point of view?
- Have you been willing to re-examine the positions you were handed as a child in an effort to be open to better understand standpoints which differ from yours? If so, how? If not, why?
- Could your resistance be based on the possibility that it offers you a sense of security, feeling you have the correct understanding? Or could your resistance be based on a fear of how those close to you may respond if you don’t appear to toe the line?
- Can you remember a time where you were open to exploring the position or understanding of another person or group? What allowed you to be open?
- Did that learning, that new information and insight, in any way distract from your own journey or did it deepen/enrich it? Explain how. (If you have a relevant story to share, please relate it in the comments or email me privately.)
- How do you think our society would be different if we all rejected the “I’m right, you’re wrong” mentality? Would you prefer it to the current climate? If so, how might you personally help move it in that direction?
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